| Name | Schwartz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Hotheaded |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Stacker |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Shaved head |
| Anecdote | Recent gambling windfall (2D6 × $1000 USD) |
| Name | Hale |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Eyepatch, stubble |
| Anecdote | Current fad is a CIA psyop |
| Name | Abrams |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Good listener |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Kowalski |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Fishing line stitches |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Argumentative |
| Anecdote | Captured by pirates |
| Name | Flores |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Unstoppable force |
| Anecdote | Captured by pirates |
| Name | Woo |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Shaved head |
| Anecdote | Robbed a gas station |
| Name | Ibanez |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | No indoor voice |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Tran |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Incredibly confusing |
| Anecdote | Robbed a gas station |