| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Incredibly confusing |
| Anecdote | Incomprehensible saga about daily errands |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Schwartz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Colonel |
| Feature | Good listener |
| Anecdote | Favorite athlete's greatest achievement |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Loud shirt |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
| Name | Ibanez |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Fishing line stitches |
| Anecdote | Shaggy dog joke |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Chews the scenery |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
| Name | Nguyen |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Misanthropic nihilist |
| Anecdote | Romantic escapade |
| Name | Singh |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Lack of forethought |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
| Name | Saad |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Incredibly confusing |
| Anecdote | Current fad is a CIA psyop |
| Name | Grant |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Bulky glasses |
| Anecdote | Personally saw Hitler die |
| Name | Gill |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Extremely organized |
| Anecdote | Religious vision |