| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Duplicitous coward |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Adéyemí |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Good listener |
| Anecdote | Faked moon landing theory |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | No indoor voice |
| Anecdote | Ex-race car driver |
| Name | Blazkowicz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Failed hanging scar |
| Anecdote | Current fad is a CIA psyop |
| Name | Okoye |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Fishing line stitches |
| Anecdote | Good football game |
| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Main character |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant commander |
| Feature | Bulky glasses |
| Anecdote | Cryptid encounter |
| Name | Hale |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Lack of forethought |
| Anecdote | Sworn to secrecy about a coverup |
| Name | Mohammed |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Lack of forethought |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Abrams |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Movie star face |
| Anecdote | Bad comedy routine |