| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Movie star face |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Ibanez |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Loud shirt |
| Anecdote | Niche hobby hard sell |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Knuckle tattoos |
| Anecdote | Broke out of a Soviet gulag |
| Name | Gill |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Knuckle tattoos |
| Anecdote | Woodstock attendee |
| Name | Kai |
|---|---|
| Rank | Colonel |
| Feature | Incredibly confusing |
| Anecdote | Mundane story from the news |
| Name | Kowalski |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Knuckle tattoos |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Kowalski |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Painted nails |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Kramer |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Strict vegan |
| Anecdote | Bad comedy routine |
| Name | Flores |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Dissociating |
| Anecdote | Ex-race car driver |
| Name | Mohammed |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Afraid of the dark |
| Anecdote | Wrote a book |