| Name | Kramer |
|---|---|
| Rank | Commander |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Nguyen |
|---|---|
| Rank | Colonel |
| Feature | Strict vegan |
| Anecdote | Woodstock attendee |
| Name | Stacker |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Soap |
|---|---|
| Rank | Commander |
| Feature | Argumentative |
| Anecdote | Bad comedy routine |
| Name | Singh |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Vietnam war story |
| Name | Hawk |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Overthinker |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |
| Name | Woo |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Failed hanging scar |
| Anecdote | Sworn to secrecy about a coverup |
| Name | Grant |
|---|---|
| Rank | Commander |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Acid trip revelation |
| Name | Tran |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Striking makeup |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Singh |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Main character |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |