| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Duplicitous coward |
| Anecdote | Niche hobby hard sell |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Saad |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Shaved head |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |
| Name | Hawk |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Bad comedy routine |
| Name | Stone |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Failed celebrity |
| Name | Antonov |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Striking makeup |
| Anecdote | Faked moon landing theory |
| Name | Hawk |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Shaved head |
| Anecdote | Acid trip revelation |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Unstoppable force |
| Anecdote | Incomprehensible saga about daily errands |
| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Movie star face |
| Anecdote | Nearly murdered for hustling |
| Name | Stone |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Bulky glasses |
| Anecdote | Patented an invention |
| Name | Singh |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Painted nails |
| Anecdote | Failed celebrity |