| Name | Hale |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Knuckle tattoos |
| Anecdote | Romantic escapade |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Johnson |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Misanthropic nihilist |
| Anecdote | Broke out of a Soviet gulag |
| Name | Stacker |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Strict vegan |
| Anecdote | Nearly murdered for hustling |
| Name | Tran |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Nearly murdered for hustling |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Eyepatch, stubble |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
| Name | Antonov |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Failed hanging scar |
| Anecdote | Favorite athlete's greatest achievement |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Lack of forethought |
| Anecdote | Ex-race car driver |
| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Colonel |
| Feature | Misanthropic nihilist |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Schwartz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Current fad is a CIA psyop |
| Name | Saad |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Dissociating |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |