| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Fingerless gloves |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Fishing line stitches |
| Anecdote | Good football game |
| Name | Hale |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Good listener |
| Anecdote | Shaggy dog joke |
| Name | Nguyen |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Failed hanging scar |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |
| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Takes joy in killing |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Ibanez |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Strict vegan |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Gill |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Takes joy in killing |
| Anecdote | Personally saw Hitler die |
| Name | Schwartz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Sunglasses indoors |
| Anecdote | Fired cop |
| Name | Ramirez |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Incredibly confusing |
| Anecdote | Incomprehensible saga about daily errands |
| Name | Grant |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Charming |
| Anecdote | Incomprehensible saga about daily errands |