| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Extremely organized |
| Anecdote | Good football game |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Woo |
|---|---|
| Rank | Colonel |
| Feature | Very cool tattoo |
| Anecdote | Shaggy dog joke |
| Name | Flores |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Argumentative |
| Anecdote | Current fad is a CIA psyop |
| Name | Stacker |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Strict vegan |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Blazkowicz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Cryptid encounter |
| Name | Mohammed |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Ex-race car driver |
| Name | Stacker |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Duplicitous coward |
| Anecdote | Failed celebrity |
| Name | Hale |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Charming |
| Anecdote | Broke out of a Soviet gulag |
| Name | Kowalski |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Afraid of the dark |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Flores |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Gold tooth |
| Anecdote | Robbed a gas station |