| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Loud shirt |
| Anecdote | Broke out of a Soviet gulag |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Saad |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Painted nails |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
| Name | Antonov |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Charming |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Woo |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Fingerless gloves |
| Anecdote | Mundane story from the news |
| Name | Kai |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Bulky glasses |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Very cool tattoo |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Kramer |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Lack of forethought |
| Anecdote | Pyramid scheme sales pitch |
| Name | Johnson |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Extremely organized |
| Anecdote | Fired cop |
| Name | Hasan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Commander |
| Feature | No indoor voice |
| Anecdote | On the Grassy Knoll |
| Name | Takahashi |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | Overthinker |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |