| Name | Suzuki |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Quaalude experiences |
Generate soldiers
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Private |
| Feature | History buff |
| Anecdote | Vietnam war story |
| Name | Mohammed |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Hotheaded |
| Anecdote | Harassed by men in black |
| Name | Mason |
|---|---|
| Rank | General |
| Feature | Ethical conundrums |
| Anecdote | Venting about their ex |
| Name | Khan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Warrant officer |
| Feature | Chain-smoker |
| Anecdote | Wrote a book |
| Name | Mostafa |
|---|---|
| Rank | Lieutenant |
| Feature | Duplicitous coward |
| Anecdote | Woodstock attendee |
| Name | Khan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Sergeant |
| Feature | Eyepatch, stubble |
| Anecdote | Failed celebrity |
| Name | Saad |
|---|---|
| Rank | Major |
| Feature | Bulky glasses |
| Anecdote | Famous friend-of-a-friend |
| Name | Callahan |
|---|---|
| Rank | Corporal |
| Feature | Striking makeup |
| Anecdote | Failed celebrity |
| Name | Schwartz |
|---|---|
| Rank | Captain |
| Feature | Striking makeup |
| Anecdote | Personally saw Hitler die |